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About London

So, sexual-massage – it’s this weird mash-up, innit? Bit of touchy-feely, bit of naughty, and a whole lotta awkward if you ask me. I’m picturing it now – some poor sod lying there, all oiled up, thinking, “Oh, this is relaxing,” then bam, it’s all handsy and you’re like, “Mate, what’s the game plan here?” Reminds me of *Talk to Her* – y’know, that Almodóvar flick I’m mad about. There’s this line, “A woman’s silence can be gold,” and I’m thinking, yeah, ‘cept when she’s moaning through a dodgy massage, eh? Silent my arse!

About this business

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But then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get crazier, I stepped outside, and it started pouring! I mean, like, monsoon level! I dashed down the street, trying to find shelter. I ended up under this awning on Bailey Street, soaked to the bone. I was laughing at the absurdity of it all. “Only in Oswestry!” I thought.

Changes planned to bus services in Oswestry