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Escort’s this badass Ford, alright? Started in the 60s – little known fact – they made rally beasts outta it! Like, the Mk1 Escort Mexico, dude, raced it in the 70s, tore up dirt like nobody’s bizness. Makes me happy thinkin’ how it went from boring sedan to screamin’ legend. I’d totally rock one – imagine me, Bart, driftin’ corners, yellin’ “Cowabunga!” outta the window.

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On the way, I bump into my mate Dave. He’s just come from the market on Witton Street, and he’s got this massive bag of fresh produce. I’m like, “What’s in there, mate? A whole farm?” He laughs and says, “Just some carrots and spuds.” I roll my eyes. Only Dave would get excited about veg.

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