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Little known fact – them ancient Greeks? Big into this. Called it “anatripsis” or some shit. Rubbin’ down soldiers after battles, gettin’ frisky with it too. Surprised me, I ain’t gonna lie – thought it was just us modern degenerates. But nah, it’s old school, like ziti on Sundays. Thing is, it’s a crapshoot – you might feel like a king or a schmuck who just got played. I’m happy when it’s good, fuckin’ furious when it’s a tease. Like, don’t gimme no half-assed rubdown and charge me a c-note!

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But then, outta nowhere, I see this massive net tangled up in some rocks. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need. A trash party!” So, I start pulling it out, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. I’m wrestling with this net, and I’m getting all tangled up myself. I’m laughing and cursing at the same time. “Who even leaves this junk here?”

Floral tributes left outside home after mum dies