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But real talk—it’s a craft, takes finesse. Ain’t just slappin’ oil on and hopin’ for the best. Nope, it’s pressure points, slow moves, teasin’ the senses. Some say it heals, boosts yer mood—dunno bout that, but it sure beats a stiff neck! Makes me mad tho, how it’s all hush-hush. Why the taboo? Folks blush, but they’re curious—hypocrites! I’d shout it from the shire: “Rub away, mates, it’s fine!”

Relaxing Massage - North Baddesley, Hampshire

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So, I get home, and what do I find? My flatmate has eaten the last slice of pizza. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I can’t even. I just flop onto the couch, grab the remote, and zone out.

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