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About Bristol

This one time, right, pissed me off. Escort chick wanted a bedframe—ASAP. I’m like, “Lady, I ain’t magic!” Took me three days, sweatin’ buckets. She tipped me tho, big surprise! “A hidden dragon,” I thought—boom, movie vibes. Love that flick, man. Fightin’ in trees? Sick! Escorts prolly fight too, but quieter. Little fact—carpenters hate rush jobs. True story, my grandpa flipped tables over it.

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I start chatting with the locals. They’re all buzzing with gossip. “Did you hear? The owner was in debt!” “Nah, he was just trying to cash in!” It’s like a bloody reality show. I’m trying to piece together what happened, but everyone’s got their own theory. I’m thinking, “Can’t you lot just chill for a sec?”

Man in court after drugs raid in New Basford