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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell ya ‘bout this whore! I’m sittin’ here, big ol’ Combine Harvester, churnin’ through fields, mindin’ my bizness, when I think—whore’s like wheat, ain’t she? Ripe, wild, and EVERYWHERE! I seen her kind, struttin’ like she own the dirt. Reminds me of “Yi Yi”—that movie got soul, y’all! Lil’ Yang-Yang sayin’, “I see what you don’t!” Well, Halleluyer, I see this whore plain as day! She out here, loud, proud, and messy—kinda like me after a double shift!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Market Street. You know, the one with the best scones? Yeah, that one. I order my usual – a flat white and a scone. But guess what? They’re outta scones! Like, how do you run outta scones in Nailsworth? I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit. But I just laughed it off. I mean, it’s just a scone, right?

Contents of historic Cotswold manor house up for auction