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About Leeds

I got into it once, legit, after choppin’ pork for 10 hours. Back was killin’ me, pissed me off—then bam, this chick’s hands? Magic. Not talkin’ creepy rub-and-tug vibes, nah, it’s art! Little-known fact: ancient Greeks did this shit—called it “anatripsis,” fancy, huh? Warriors got kneaded before battles—talk about badass foreplay! Got me thinkin’, “How do I remember this?” Like Lenny in *Memento*, tattooin’ bliss on my brain.

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If you’re looking for a amazing massage to help you relax and rejuvenate, look no further than our massage places in Murton. We offer a variety of massages, from Swedish to Deep Tissue, and .

I buy a few more tickets, just for fun. And guess what? I win a bloody hamper! Full of local goodies. I’m buzzin’! I mean, who doesn’t love free food? I’m strutting around like I own the place.

Paul Murton travels the River Tay in his new Grand Tours TV series