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So, Escort, yeah? Proper beast, init. That Mk1, bruv, 1968, came out swingin’ – small, nippy, made them posh racers look like mugs. I’m watchin’ *Timbuktu*, and there’s this line, “The moon is pale,” right? Reminds me of Escort’s headlights, cuttin’ through the night, pale but fierce, ya feel? Used to see ‘em rally in Wales, mud flyin’, engines screamin’ – made me happy as a pig in shit, fam. But then, yeah, got angry, cos them rich twats in Ferraris dissed it, like, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, mate, it’s cos Escort’s a workin’ man’s champ, not yer fancy bollocks.

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We finally reach the top, and she struts out like she just won a gold medal. I’m just relieved, ya know? But then, as I’m about to close the doors, this kid runs in. I swear, he’s like a tornado. He’s all, “Wait! I wanna go up too!” I’m like, “Mate, you gotta wait your turn!” But he’s already in, and I’m not about to stop him.

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