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Exaggeratin’ a bit—felt like that car had a soul, swear it’d groan when I loaded it heavy, like it’s sayin’, “Man, gimme a break!” Loved that junker, tho—ugly, loud, but mine. Still, them newer cars? Pfft, Escort’d eat their lunch in grit. “The City of God is yours,” they say in the flick—well, the road was mine with that heap. Y’all ever had an Escort? Tell me—*“How’s that workin’ for ya?”*—‘cause I’m still ridin’ that memory!

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First stop, I’m at the Market Place. You know, that cute little square where all the locals hang? I’m just setting up my little guide booth, and boom! This old bloke, right, he trips over his own shoelaces. I mean, come on, mate! It’s like watching a slow-motion train wreck. He goes down, and I’m half-laughing, half-worried. But he pops up like a champ, grinning like he just won the lottery. Classic Mildenhall spirit, I guess.

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