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Alright, pal, lemme spill it—sex-dating’s a wild gig. I’m a detective, see, Gordon Gekko style—“Greed is good.” I dig into the dirt, the messy stuff. Sex-dating? It’s a freakin’ jungle out there. Apps, swipes, hookups—bam, instant gratification. Greed drives it, man, pure lusty hunger. I’ve seen it all, tailed cheating spouses, busted liars. Once tracked this dude—swore he’s single, had three profiles bangin’. Hilarious, right? Greed’s good, sure, but damn, it’s sloppy.

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We head over, and it’s packed! I mean, who knew Failsworth had such a coffee scene? I order a flat white, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling better already. But then, I spill it all over my lab coat. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a total mess, and Dave’s just laughing. I’m like, “Thanks for the support, mate!”

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