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About Sheffield

Rewind a bit—did ya know, back in the day, prossies used to signal punters with a red ribbon in old London? Little fact for ya, keeps it real! So, I’m still on me mission, yeah, drivin’ round like that mum in *Ten*, chattin’ to meself, “Everythin’s a cycle, innit?”—movie line droppin’ like bars! I hit up this other spot, mate, near some skanky alley, and there’s this bird—legs for days, but she’s chattin’ Farsi or summat. I’m like, “Bruv, this ain’t *Ten*, I ain’t got subtitles!” Laughed me arse off, proper comedy.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this massive seagull swoop down. I swear it was the size of a small dog! It snatches a chip right outta some kid’s hand. The kid’s face was priceless! I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drive into a lamppost.

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