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Sometimes it’s chill, tho. Met this girl, we vibed, no rush. “Every gesture hides a meaning,” like Wong Kar-wai said. She was droppin’ hints, I’m like, “Aight, bet.” Didn’t smash, just talked—rare W. But yo, the apps? Grindr, Tinder, whatever—half the profiles fake. Bots tryna scam you, sayin’ “Send $20, daddy.” Nah, fam, I’m good. Sex-dating’s a gamble, 0 to 100 real quick.

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After a few pints, I’m feeling brave. I decide to head to the local market on the weekend. It’s buzzing with people, and I’m loving the vibe. I grab some fresh produce, and this old lady starts chatting me up about her garden. She’s got the greenest thumbs in Meltham, apparently. I’m nodding along, pretending I know what she’s talking about.

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