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Once, in Singapore, heard a yarn—some sultan paid in gold fer a massage so wild, he wept! True story, swear on me compass! Made me laugh ‘til me ribs hurt—imagine that pompous git cryin’ o’er a backrub! But aye, it’s personal, see? Some days I’d kill fer one—tension in me bones from dodgin’ the navy. Other times, I’d rather wrestle a squid than let some stranger touch me. Quirky, eh?

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But then, boom! I step outside, and it’s pouring. Like, seriously? Rain in Campia-Turzii? Ugh! I sprinted down Strada Horea, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course. I was already late for a meeting with the local art crew. They’re a bunch of characters, let me tell ya.

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