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About Bristol

So this bird, she’s called somethin’ like Ruby—prolly fake, who cares? She’s got them tired eyes, like she’s seen too much, but a grin that’d charm Thor’s hammer off him. I’m sawin’ wood, splinters flyin’, and she’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a fag, tellin’ me how she once nicked a punter’s watch mid-shag. Laughed my arse off—crafty minx! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” I says, wavin’ my chisel like a scepter, “and you’re out here stealin’ time!”

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I’m thinking, “Yeah, right after I finish this report.” But then, curiosity kicks in. I finish my coffee, and off I go. The Assembly Hall is this cute little place. I walk in, and there’s a local art exhibit. I’m not an art guy, but some of it’s pretty cool. There’s this massive painting of the River Avon. I mean, wow!

£5k worth of tools stolen from van as thieves target town