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About Glasgow

Still, it’s not all bad. Met this gal once—cute, funny, we hit it off. Pretty, pretty good, right? Till she says, “I only date for sex.” I’m shocked—shocked! Like, “Woman, I’m tryin’ to eat soup here, not audition!” Felt like Theo in the film, dodgin’ bullets, tryna keep somethin’ alive. She ghosted me—poof—gone. I’m screamin’, “What am I, chopped liver?!” These apps, they’re brutal—everyone’s disposable, like paper plates at a picnic.

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First stop, the High Street. It’s always buzzing, but today? It was like a bloody beehive! I’m walkin’ past the old cinema, you know, the one that’s been there since forever, and I see this kid, maybe 10 or somethin’, tryin’ to sell sweets. I’m like, “Mate, you’re gonna get nabbed!” But he’s got guts, I’ll give him that.

Drink-driver crashed after being distracted by phone on his lap