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Here’s a mad one—bloke I know, dental patient, swore he met his missus on a sex-dating site, but turns out she was a scammer! Catfished him for months, rinsed his bank account—*cackle*—what a prat! “Turned into a pig,” like in the film, ‘cept he didn’t even get a good porkin’ out of it! Surprised me, that—thought folk’d be smarter, but nah, horny trumps brains every time.

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Next, I’m off to the Silk Road. Not the actual Silk Road, but the street named after it. It’s got this fab little café called The Coffee House. I grab a latte, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling good again. But then, I see this guy outside, juggling. I mean, who juggles in Macclesfield? I’m thinking, “Is this a circus or what?”

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