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Happy? Hell yeah, when it works. You save some idiot’s neck, feel like a twisted hero. Surprised me once—read bout this escort in London, 1800s, guarded a poet. Guy wrote him into a sonnet—freakin’ immortal now. Who knew? Most don’t get that—they’re ghosts, not legends. Me, I’d suck at it, too sarcastic, prolly tell the client they’re a moron and deserve the hitman. “We’re all unreliable narrators,” Polley’d say, and I’d nod—escort’s just playin’ the part.

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But then, as I’m munching away, I hear this commotion outside. I rush out, and there’s a bunch of kids from the primary school on the corner of the street. They’re all shouting and running around like headless chickens. Apparently, someone’s lost their pet rabbit. A rabbit! In Locharbriggs! I can’t even. So, I join the search party. I’m sniffing around, trying to catch a whiff of bunny. Spoiler alert: no luck.

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