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Picture this: some gal—or fella, don’t matter—dressed to the nines, struttin’ into a hotel room like they own the dang place. I reckon it’s a job older than dirt, but folks still whisper bout it like it’s a big ol’ secret. Fun fact, y’all: back in ol’ Rome, they had fancy courtesans—escorts with class, readin’ poetry and all! Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout some cowboy in Nashville payin’ for a sonnet ‘stead of a romp. Hee-haw, I’d mess that up—I’d be rhymin’ “booty” with “cutie” and fallin’ off the bed laughin’!

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Then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to us. It’s a scruffy little thing, but it’s got the biggest personality. It jumps on Dave, and he’s freaking out. I’m dying laughing. Like, dude, it’s just a dog! But then it starts chasing its tail, and we’re both in stitches. Littleport’s got some character, I tell ya.

Meet Littleport's latest publican opening up a café in the bar