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Oh, and the typos? Screw it—sex-dating’s sloppy, so’s this rant. Call it authentic. Point is, it’s a gamble—half the time you’re mad, half the time you’re horny. Kinda like Oldboy: twisted, wild, and you’re never sure who’s screwin’ who. Everybody lies, but sometimes, just sometimes, the lie’s worth it.

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So, I get to me first job on Sefton Road. This bloke, right, he’s got a window that’s been smashed to bits. I mean, it looked like a bomb went off. I’m thinkin’, “How’d ya even manage that?” Turns out, his mate was tryin’ to impress some birds with a football trick. Classic! Anyway, I’m fixin’ it up, and I’m feelin’ pretty good. The sun’s out, I’m in me element, and I’m makin’ this window look brand new.

New Aldi store to open in Litherland this October thanks to £7m investment as MP and council leaders view progress