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Oh, and—true story—knew a bloke who hired one, got robbed instead! Wallet, watch, gone—fuckin’ hilarious, but he was ragin’. “I’m not a good person,” Brandon mumbles in Shame—mate, neither was that escort, apparently. Shit like that? Keeps it real. Escorts ain’t saints or victims—just people, y’know? Hustlin’, dodgin’, livin’. I respect the grind, even if it’s messy as fuck. Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,”—worth every penny for the chaos, eh?

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But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” I’m standing there, covered in bird droppings, and I can’t help but laugh. Only in Leytonstone, right?

Residents at ‘crumbling’ Leytonstone estate push for rebuild