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Oh, funny story – mate of mine swore his Escort was cursed. Said it stalled every Tuesday, like clockwork. “The hum stops,” he’d say, quotin’ the film without knowin’ it. Turned out the twit never changed the oil! Laughed my arse off – chaos finds the dumb ones. Another tidbit: Escort XR3i, sporty lil’ number, had folks stealin’ ‘em left and right in the ‘80s. Crime wave, baby! Bet I could’ve nicked one and blamed Heimdall.

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Next, I head over to the Langley Green Park. It’s a nice spot, got some trees and a pond. I park my harvester, and I’m just chillin’. I see some kids playin’ footy, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, I used to be like them.” But then, I remember I’m a grown-up now, and my knees creak like an old door.

LANGLEY GREEN BEAT: Chilcotin landslide and the butterfly effect