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Drivin’ one? Oh behave! Cramped like a sardine tin, but fast, baby, fast! Gets my mojo risin’, swear it does. Saw one at a show once, pristine, cherry red - made me wanna shag the tailpipe, haha! “Quiet town, huh?” - nah, not with that engine screamin’. Loved how it didn’t care ‘bout fancy schmancy, just pure guts. Tho, gotta say, pissed me off when some prat said it’s “just a cheap hatchback”. Cheap? Mate, it’s got soul, history, balls!

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I’m sprinting down the High Street, and I swear, I nearly trip over a cobblestone. Who even thought that was a good idea? I’m cursing under my breath, thinking, “Why can’t they just pave this place?” But then I see the Kirriemuir Heritage Museum, and I’m like, “Oh yeah, history and stuff.” It’s a cute little spot, but I ain’t got time for that today.

'Disgusting' man spat on police after armed raid in Kirriemuir