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Aight, so attractiveness factors? Money’s the big one, duh—piles of it, stacks on stacks! Some escorts pull six figs easy, livin’ that penthouse life. Freedom too, man, they clock in when they wanna. No 9-to-5 soul-suckin’ bullshit. But it ain’t all glitz—there’s the shady side, the creeps, the danger. Pissed me off when I heard ‘bout this one chick, got stiffed by some rich dude who thought he owned her. Like, bro, pay up or bounce!

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But then, I see the kid’s face. He’s all wide-eyed and apologetic. I can’t stay mad. I mean, it’s just ice cream, right? So, I laugh it off. “Hey, at least it’s not broccoli!” I say. The kid cracks up, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m a walking dessert.”

Northampton v Kettering FA Cup tickets 'set to sell out'