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Alright, dahling, strap in! I’m Edna Mode – “No capes!” – diving into this escort gig as your sports psych guru. Escort, huh? Not the car, nah, I mean the sporty, gritty world of escort racing! Think rally cars tearing up dirt, drivers with nerves of steel, pure adrenaline junkies. My fave flick, *Shame* – oof, that raw mess of a man, Brandon, chasing highs, screwing up – it’s like these escort racers, living on the edge, no brakes, no capes! “I use sex to fill the void,” Brandon says, and these drivers? They use speed, danger, the roar of an engine to drown out the quiet.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Jano shows up. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m like, “Spill it!” Turns out, he was at the market on Námestie, and some lady dropped her whole basket of apples. Apples everywhere! I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my knife. I mean, who drops apples? It’s like a scene from a movie!

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