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Lemme spill some tea—did y’all know the Escort dropped in ‘79? Ford said, “Here, peasants, drive this!” and folks ate it up! Millions sold, honey, MILLIONS! By the ‘90s, it was everywhere, like bad decisions in Leviathan. “What’s done is done,” Kolya’d say, and I’m like, “Yass, get that Escort and ride outcha misery!” I seen one once, cherry red, shined up, and I hollered, “Halleluyer! That’s a blessin’ on wheels!” Made me happy as a pig in mud—simple, no frills, just real.

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After that, I’m on a roll. I’m feelin’ good, like I’m the queen of the phone lines. But then, bam! A call from someone on Cedarwood Drive. They’re furious! Apparently, their neighbor’s dog has been barking all night. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a dog. What do you want me to do? Call the dog police?” But they’re not having it. I can feel my blood pressure rising.

Thousands attend annual St George's Day bike show