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Hiya, buddy! So, escort, huh? Like, whoa, dude, it’s wild! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—is escort a job? Like, is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but srsly, it’s people paid to hang out! Kinda cool, right? Reminds me of *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—y’know, my fave flick. That line, “I missed you so much,” hits me. Escorts prolly hear that tons, huh? Someone’s all lonely, and bam, they call an escort. Sweet, but kinda sad too.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking full-on monsoon. Everyone’s scrambling for cover. I’m soaked, my hair’s a mess, and I’m just standing there like an idiot. I mean, come on, Johnstone! Can’t a guy enjoy a festival without getting drenched? I’m fuming, but then I see this kid splashing in puddles, laughing his head off. And I’m like, “Okay, maybe it’s not so bad.” Kids have a way of putting things in perspective, right?

SPFL D-Day for Dundee United, Dundee and St Johnstone loanees