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D’oh! So, sex escorts, huh? Man, what a wild gig! I’m sittin’ here, makin’ stoves, thinkin’ – whoa, these folks got some spicy lives! Like, in “Ratatouille,” Remy the rat says, “Anyone can cook!” Well, I say, anyone can escort – if ya got the guts! Ha! Imagine me, Homer Simpson, tryin’ that – I’d trip over my own pants, d’oh!

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First off, I’m a Makhaut, which is basically a fancy way of saying I’m a storyteller. I roam the streets, soaking up the vibes, and today, the vibes were all over the place. I hit up Market Place first. You know, the heart of Inverurie? It’s got that old-school charm, but today it was buzzing. I grab a coffee from the wee café on the corner. Best flat white ever, I swear. But then, bam! My phone buzzes.

Popular Inverurie cafe announces Christmas Eve closure