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About Bristol

Aight, real talk – it’s misunderstood, yeah? Peeps think it’s all sleazy, but it’s art, fam! Skillz, patience, trust – I respect it, big time. Still, I’m cacklin’ – some dodgy geezer probz gets it wrong, slaps oil on like he’s fryin’ chips! Makes me angry tho – good sexual-massage ruined by muppets. “The fire rises,” I mutter, dreamin’ o’ the perfect rub-down.

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But then, just as I’m about to leave, the lights flicker. I’m like, “Oh great, now I’m in a horror movie for real.” I bolt out of there faster than you can say “Aylsham.”

Shop building in market town set to go under the hammer