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But – ssss – some places, filthy liars! Promise “happy endin’,” then nothin’, just a pat on the back. Pissed me off, precious, wanted to claw their eyes out! “Is this evolving?” like in “Her” – nah, it’s a rip-off! Once got a bloke massagin’ me – surprise, surprise – strong hands, hairy knuckles, nearly screamed. Funny now, thinkin’ bout it – “Gollum, you daft git!”

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After that, I decide to grab some lunch at the chippy on the corner of the High Street. Best fish and chips in town, no joke. I order my usual, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it like it’s a boxing match! I’m just trying to enjoy my meal, but they’re making it impossible. I mean, c’mon, keep it down, right?

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