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Lemme spill – I got my first one last summer. This chick, total pro, hands like magic, starts kneadin’ my shoulders. I’m like, “Oof, I’m on fire!” – ya know, firefighter pun! But then – oh Gawd – she’s workin’ my thighs, and I’m thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Got me happy, like, floatin’ on a cloud. But also mad – why’d I wait so long? Total game-changer, hon! Probs 14 typos already, whoops – too excited!

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Then, I swing by the Ingatestone Hall. Man, that place is a stunner! I’ve guided folks there before, but today? It’s like the universe decided to throw a party. There’s a wedding goin’ on! I’m talkin’ fancy dresses, flowers everywhere, and this massive cake. I’m like, “Can I crash this?” But nah, I’m a pro. Gotta keep it cool.

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