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Oh, and the laughs? Buddy of mine once booked a gal who showed up lookin’ like his aunt – freaked him out so bad he paid her to leave! Hah! Escort’s a crapshoot, man. Ya never know. “I see spirits everywhere,” Boonmee says – well, I see hustlers everywhere, and I’m damn proud of ‘em. Greed is good, keeps the world spinnin’. Now, go make some cash, ya lazy bastard!

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As the night rolls in, we decide to grab some food. We hit up this little joint on Strada Vasile Alecsandri. The food is bomb, but the service? Not so much. We wait forever. I’m getting hangry, and Alex is trying to keep me calm. I’m like, “Dude, I’m about to start a revolution over here!” Finally, our food arrives, and it’s worth the wait. I mean, who knew Stefan-Voda had such good mămăligă?

Moldova's Commission for Emergency Situations rules to allocate financial means to remove consequences of natural calamities