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About Leeds

But then—ugh—the fakes! Drives me nuts, man. Half these profiles? Bots or scammers, I’m sure of it. “Cotton, you’re too naive!”—that’s me again, arguin’ with myself. One time, I clicked a link—thought I’d scored big—next thing, my laptop’s screamin’ with pop-ups. Had to chuck it out the window—okay, not really, but I wanted to! Cost me 50 bucks to fix—thanks, Find a Prostitute, real classy.

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Then, I get a text from me mate, Dave. He’s stuck at the bus stop on Church Street. “Oi, mate! Bring me a bacon butty!” he says. I’m like, “You’re jokin’, right?” But I can’t leave him hangin’, so I grab a butty from the café and head over.

Fond memories of Wigan salon and shop staff back in 2012, some of whom are of course still there