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Escorts, right? Not just some tart in a tight dress. Nah, they’re pros, got stories deeper than the Blackwater. Once knew this lass, swore she bedded half the lords in King’s Landing—said one cried after, blubbering bout his mum. Made me laugh til wine shot out me nose. Little known fact: back in olden days, escorts weren’t just for shagging—kings hired em to spy, sneak secrets outta drunk nobles. Clever, eh? Bet they’d say, “I don’t wait for nobody,” like Tom in the film, all cool and ruthless.

Browse Escorts Available in Ilfracombe, Devon, EX34 9

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Then, outta nowhere, this band starts playing. They’re not half bad! I’m tapping my foot, feeling the vibe. But then, I notice this guy at the bar. He’s got a massive tattoo of a fish on his arm. I’m like, “Dude, that’s commitment!” He overhears me and starts telling me about his fishing adventures. I’m thinking, “Man, I should’ve been a fisherman!”

Ilfracombe hosts its biggest maritime festival