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But—hah!—sometimes it’s gold. Mate of mine, hairy git, met his wife on OkCupid. Proper shock, that! “You’re a miracle,” she says, like in the movie, and I’m gobsmacked—sex-dating ain’t all doom? Rare, tho. Most times, it’s STD scares or weirdos textin’ dick pics at 3 a.m. Had a laugh once—bloke bragged he shagged 50 birds off Plenty of Fish. Liar! Smelled fishier than his story, precious.

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I climb up, and as I’m up there, I can see the whole of Ilford. The hustle and bustle, the people rushing around, the buses on the road. It’s kinda beautiful, you know? But then, I hear this loud honking. I look down, and some guy in a car is losing it. He’s waving his arms like a madman. I’m just up there, trying not to laugh.

Man charged with murder after ‘dedicated worker’ killed at Ilford station attack