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So, sex escorts—man, they’re everywhere! Not like fishies in Bikini Bottom, tho. Real people, real cash, real fun! Heard this story once—some escort in Vegas, right? She drove a pink limo—PINK, dude! Called it her “war rig”—straight outta Mad Max! Made me laugh so hard, I farted bubbles! “What a day, what a lovely day!” she’d yell, ha!

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After that, I headed to the park. You know, the one by the Ibstock Community College? It’s got this lovely pond. I sat there, just chillin’, when I saw a bunch of kids playing football. They were all shouting and running around. I was like, “Man, I miss those days.” But then, one of them kicked the ball too hard, and it went straight into the pond. The kid was like, “Noooo!” I laughed so hard, I almost fell off the bench.

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