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So, sex escorts—here’s the 411. It’s not just “pay, bang, bye.” Some girls, they’re, like, therapists with boobs. True story: this one chick in Vegas—met her at a party, swear—she’d listen to old dudes ramble ‘bout their sad lives, then, bam, happy ending. Made bank too—six figs a year! I was shooketh. Like, “You go, girl, get that coin!” But then—ugh—some creep stiffed her once, took her bag, left her with nada. Pissed me off so bad, I was, like, screaming at my TV, “Men are trash, Grace knows!”

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I pop into this little café on St. Andrew Street. The smell of coffee hits me like a brick wall. I order a flat white, and the barista looks at me like I just asked for a unicorn. “What’s a flat white?” she says. I mean, c’mon! It’s not rocket science! Anyway, I get my coffee, and it’s decent. Not as good as my home brew, but whatever.

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