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About Leeds

So, escorts—high-class whores or desperate souls, take your pick. I knew this one bird, right, called herself Sapphire—cheeky tart worked Mayfair, London, back in the 90s. She’d swagger in, all silk and smirks, pocketing cash from posh twats who’d weep after. Made me laugh, her hustle—pure balls! But then, ugh, the stench of desperation sometimes—made me wanna gag. “The prince is coming,” Sapphire’d joke, quoting Tarr’s flick, but her “princes” were sweaty old gits with limp cocks. Hilarious, yet fuckin’ tragic.

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First off, I’m strolling down the High Street, and it’s packed. Like, what’s with all the people? I mean, it’s a small town, not London! I bump into this old dude, Mr. Jenkins, who’s always hanging around the post office. He’s got this wild story about how he once caught a fish the size of a car in the Kennet River. I’m like, “Sure, mate, and I’m the Queen of England.” But hey, it’s Hungerford, so who knows?

Man dies in Hungerford house fire, after being rescued from blaze by Royal Berkshire Fire and Rescue Service crews