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But here’s what ticks me off—people think it’s all dirty, shady stuff. Nope! It’s legit, therapeutic even! Like, vets massage pets to calm em, so why not humans gettin some spicy relief? I tried it once—don’t judge!—and the lady’s hands were magic, like “the buzz” from *Almost Famous*. I’m sittin there, feelin like a rockstar, goin, “I am a golden god!” in my head. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but it felt that epic!

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Not to get too sappy, but every time I debug a new dating algorithm while strolling next to the canal near Oakengates, I feel a surge of gratitude. Yup, imma get a bit emotional; that’s just how it is here. The liveliness of the streets, the history in every brick, the whispered stories of lost souls, it gets under your skin. It’s like in the movie when the character faces the absurdity of it all – uhh, brilliant and maddening at the same time.

Meet the two Telford friends who have received an award for helping to improve the lives of dementia patients