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But then—fuck—some dumbass scientist pissed me off. Said sexual-massage ain’t real in fish. Bullshit! I yelled, “You blind, cabrón?” Seen it with my own eyes—catfish grindin’ up close, massagin’ fins like pros. Tony don’t lie, man! Another freaky bit—electric eels, they zap while they rub. Zap-zap, sexy time! Bet that’s a shock to the system—hah, get it? Fuckin’ hilarious. Reminds me of Holy Motors—“The beauty of the act!”—that’s what sexual-massage is, pure chaos, pure beauty.

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A Tantric Massage is a massage treatment modality for men and women, typically carried out unclothed, and applied as a holistic Sensual Oil Massage. When aimed towards men, Tantra .

First off, I hit up the local café on Church Street. You know, the one with the weirdly named pastries? I ordered a “Houston Delight” or whatever. Tasted like cardboard with a hint of despair. But hey, caffeine is life, right? I downed that coffee like it was my last meal.

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