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Oh, and get this – some escorts reckon they’re therapists too. Not even jokin’! Bloke pays for a bit of fun, ends up sobbin’ about his ex. “Feelings are a shadow”, she’d whisper, nickin’ that In the Mood vibe, and he’s hooked. Surprised me, that – thought it’d be all wham-bam, but nah, it’s deep, messy, real.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I dash for cover under the nearest bus stop on Lvivska. I’m standing there, dripping wet, and this old dude next to me just laughs. “Welcome to Cherepkivtsi, son!” I can’t help but chuckle. He’s right, this city’s got a sense of humor.