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About Glasgow

Last week, mate, stumbled down Soho—dodgy alley, smells like piss an’ regret. Saw this bird, legs fer days, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Wotcha, love?” she goes, smirkin’. Made me happy, her sass, like she owned the night. We swears! Took me back to them movie scenes—sweaty, close, real. “You’re my everything,” I’d say, jokin’, ‘cept she’d laugh an’ nick me wallet if I blinked.

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I rush back to the lab, and sure enough, the machine’s making this weird noise. It sounds like a cat being stepped on. I’m trying to fix it, but it’s like wrestling a greased pig. I’m sweating, cursing under my breath, and my team’s just watching. I’m like, “Help me out here, people!”

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