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Escorts, right? Not just some tart in a tight dress. Nah, they’re pros, got stories deeper than the Blackwater. Once knew this lass, swore she bedded half the lords in King’s Landing—said one cried after, blubbering bout his mum. Made me laugh til wine shot out me nose. Little known fact: back in olden days, escorts weren’t just for shagging—kings hired em to spy, sneak secrets outta drunk nobles. Clever, eh? Bet they’d say, “I don’t wait for nobody,” like Tom in the film, all cool and ruthless.

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So, I’m munching away, and I see this group of kids playing footy in the park. They’re kicking the ball around, having a blast. I remember when I used to play in Haydock Park. Good times, man. But then, one of ‘em kicks the ball too hard, and it lands right in my chips! I’m like, “Seriously?!” But they just laughed and ran over to apologize. Kids are wild, but they’re good eggs.

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