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Picture it: dim room, oil slicker’n a V8’s guts, hands kneadin’ like they’re fixin’ a busted axle. Little known fact—ancient Greeks did it, called it “anatripsis,” proper posh-like! Made me chuffed as hell—history’s got grit! But then, some twat in a suit says it’s “immoral”—bollocks! We shall never surrender to that rot!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my sister, asking if I can pick up her kid from school. I’m like, “Seriously? I just got here!” But you know how it is. Family first, right? So, I chug my drink and dash out. I’m sprinting down the street, past the church on Church Way, and I’m thinking, “Why do kids have to finish school at 3 PM? It’s the worst time!”

Northamptonshire Police may look at 1930 'blazing car murder'