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I’d be awful at it, tho. Too goofy! “Oops, poked your eye!” Haha! But serious, it’s old—ancient Egypt had it! Pharoahs gettin’ freaky rubs—wild! Makes me happy thinkin’ people been chill like that forever. But ugh, some creeps ruin it—askin’ for “extras.” Gross! Makes me mad, like, dude, it’s a massage, not a buffet!

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A luxurious sensual ritual for your absolute relaxation and deep relaxation. Let your tired body be pampered by the touches of moving breasts.

Finally, I fix the radio, and it sounds amazing! The owner is stoked, and I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring. Of course! Typical Bergen weather. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m cursing under my breath, but then I see this cute café on the corner of Vissersstraat. I duck in to escape the rain.

NYC-style deli and soda shop ‘Buffalo & Bergen’ plans summer debut in Clarendon