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I. Love. This. Part—rally. Escorts. In. The. ‘70s.! Total. Beasts.! Rally. Drivers. Were. Like. “Fish. Are. Friends. Not. Food!” Tearin’. Up. Dirt! Made. Me. Happy. As. Hell.! Picture. This—I’m. Yellin’. At. My. TV. “Go. Escort. Go!” My. Cat’s. Like. “Dude. Chill.” Nah. Man. It’s. Epic!

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Then, I get a text from my mate, right? He’s like, “Let’s meet at the pub.” I’m all for it. I need a pint after this madness. So, I head over to The Lion, which is on the other side of the High Street. It’s packed, as usual. I squeeze my way to the bar, and the bartender’s like, “What’ll it be?” I’m like, “A pint of your finest, please!”

Former chapel for sale opposite Hampton Court Palace after 20-year labour of love