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About Bristol

Last time, right, this masseuse—tiny hands, iron grip—cracked my spine like a glowstick. Surprised me, legit jumped. “Missed you so much,” I hear from the movie in my head. Miss that feeling already. It’s not just horny vibes—relaxes you, kills stress. Docs say it boosts oxytocin, some love hormone crap. Dunno, sounds fake, but I’m chill af after. Oh, and Thailand—mate, they’ve got “happy endings” on lock. Sleazy, sure, but iconic. You ever tried? Don’t lie.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my ex. Ugh, talk about a mood killer. She’s with some dude who looks like he just walked off a fashion runway. I’m standing there, trying to act cool, but inside? Total chaos. I’m like, “Hey, how’s it going?” She’s all smiles, and I’m just thinking, “Why am I even here?”

Hale Barns Carnival to return this summer with evening concerts, daytime funfair and new location