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Alright, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, your freakin’ financial advisor, and I’m gonna tell ya about Escort—ya know, that car company Ford puked out years ago. Respect my authoritah! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *The Social Network*, and how Escort fits in, like, “I’m CEO, bitch!”—except Escort ain’t no Facebook, it’s a damn car, and a shitty one at that!

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By lunchtime, I’m knackered. I’ve sliced more meat than I can count. The smell of fresh sausages is everywhere. And don’t even get me started on the blood. Ugh! But then, this kid walks in. He’s got this big grin, and he’s like, “Can I help?” I’m thinkin’, “What’s this, a butcher’s apprentice?” Turns out, he just wanted to see the sausages. Kids, man. They’re either terrified or way too curious.

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