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But—ooh—sometimes it’s juicy! This one time, matched a lad, real smooth talker. “I want you like I’ve never wanted,” he says, straight outta *Carol*. Heart went boom-boom, precious! Met up, sparks flew, then—poof—he’s got a wife! Married! We was gobsmacked, angry, screamin’ in me head, “Filthy cheaterses!” Dumped him faster than you can say “Smeagol.”

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After I finally fix the dude’s car, he’s all grateful and stuff. I’m like, “Yeah, just don’t drive like a maniac next time.” He leaves, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s fuming, and I’m thinkin’, “Oh boy, here we go.”

School officials censured in Taichung child abuse probe