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So, escort, right? Lil hatchback, man, Ford spat em out in the 80s. Drove one back in Texas – screeched like a banshee, exhaust fartin smoke. Made me happy as a pig in mud! But damn, it broke down CONSTANTLY – pissed me off somethin fierce. “I’m in deep doo-doo,” I’d mutter, kickin the tire. Thing was, everbody had em – like Facebook, everwhere! Fun fact: they raced Escorts in Europe, souped-up lil bastards, surprised me big time. Didn’t expect that from a grocery-getter!

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First off, I hit up the seafront. You know, the Golden Mile? It’s like the heart of this place. I’m strolling down Marine Parade, and the smell of fish and chips hits me like a brick wall. I mean, who can resist that? Not me! So, I grab a portion, and let me tell ya, it was massive. I’m talking enough chips to feed a small army. I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when I spot this seagull eyeing me. Like, dude, back off! I’m not sharing my chips with you!

Singapore’s long-ruling party on track to win another landslide