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Here’s a factoid, dipshits—did ya know sex-dating’s been around forever? Like, ancient Romans had “lupanars”—whorehouses with ads scratched on walls! Same crap, different tech. Makes me laugh, horny losers never change. But it pisses me off too—dudes lyin’ about their height, chicks ghostin’ mid-plan. I’m yellin’, “You can’t handle Cartman’s truth!”—like that scene, “It’s a dream, silly!”—all fake and screwy.

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But then, as I’m climbing down, I slip. Yup, right on my backside. The crowd gasps, and I’m just lying there, covered in leaves. I can’t even. But hey, at least I saved the cat, right?

Second season brings success for Gonerby after title triumph